


Cupid's Arrow

by MagicaDraconia16



Series: The Love Bug [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 07:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13735953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaDraconia16/pseuds/MagicaDraconia16
Summary: Another little story about Valentine's, also written for the Snape_Potter community's Valentine Comment Fest 2016.





	Cupid's Arrow

**As it turns out, Cupid is a real person. A real person that's been trying to hit Severus Snape with an arrow for many years. When Professor Potter joins the Hogwarts staff, he sees his chance.**  

_alisanne_  

 

“It’s that time again!” The golden-haired beauty leaned casually on his doorjamb and shook the small velvet bag she held in her hand.   
  
“Oh, no! No, no, no, no,  _NO_!” He shook his head. “I know you – you’ll make sure I end up with Snape again, and  _nothing_  ever works on that guy! He’s ruining my quota!”   
  
“Not to mention your reputation,” the blonde said with a smirk. “C’mon – Snape’s not the only one left. You might get lucky this time.” She shook the bag again, invitingly.   
  
“Really?” He sat back with a snort. “Who else hasn’t been picked yet?”   
  
“Longbottom—”   
  
“He’s more in love with his plants than any woman we can present him with!”   
  
“Malfoy—”   
  
“Too in love with his mirror.”   
  
“Granger—”   
  
“And we all know who  _she’s_  destined for.”   
  
“Look, just pick one, alright!” the blonde finally lost her temper and almost threw the bag at him.   
  
Grumbling, he reached into the bag and grudgingly pulled out a tiny, golden arrow. He angled it so as to see the cursive writing on the side of it, and instantly let out a curse of his own. “Damn it, Aphrodite, you tricked me!”   
  
“Luck of the draw, my dear Cupid,” she trilled in response, although she also hurriedly ducked out of Cupid’s office. “Now go shoot that man!”   
  
Once his boss was gone, Cupid’s shoulders slumped. He’d drawn this man’s arrow every year for the past two decades, but somehow, not a one had ever hit its target. It was like the damn wizard was coated in Teflon or something.   
  
“This year, you  _will_  feel the sweet burn of my arrow, Severus Snape,” he swore, “or my name isn’t Cupid!”   
  


* * *

  
  
Air-walking along near the ceiling, Cupid trailed his prey for several days, hoping for some little hint that there could be some deep-buried –  _very_  deeply buried – emotion that he could hit with his arrow and allow love to blossom.   
  
Unfortunately, Severus Snape seemed to enjoy being a hermit. And when he wasn’t being a hermit, he was positively thriving on sending every person running for cover from the lashing of his sarcastic tongue.   
  
 _Aphrodite so owes me a beer for this_ , he thought, glumly.   
  
And then, so quickly he almost missed it, was the smallest crumb of a spark of a hint. Almost falling out of the air in his eagerness, Cupid hastily twisted around, desperately searching for whoever had ignited that feeling.   
  
 _Messy hair, glasses, green eyes . . . hang on, didn’t I unite his parents . . . ?_    
  
“Professor Snape,” the new god of Cupid’s working life was saying, “I was wondering if I might have a word with you about the Defence curriculum . . . ?”   
  
“You may,” Snape said, inclining his head graciously.   
  
Apparently, this was not the response the recipient of all Cupid’s hopes was expecting.   
  
“Ah, well, okay—” he began, but was swiftly interrupted.   
  
“And that is more than one word. Thank you, Professor Potter. I’m glad I didn’t miss the brilliance of your intelligence.” And Snape was spinning on his heel and stalking off, leaving both Cupid and the betrayer of all Cupid’s hopes and dreams to gape after him.   
  
“ _Damn_  him!” they exclaimed in stereo – even if it was only stereo in one set of ears. 

* * *

 

For a school that only had a couple of hundred people in total, it was surprisingly difficult to get two of those people together – especially when one of those people was Severus Snape.   
  
Cupid folded his arms over his chest and sulked. He didn’t even know why Aphrodite even kept Snape on the books after all this time.   
  
Footsteps heading towards Snape’s rooms caused Cupid to perk up.  _Yes!_  Professor Potter was striding beneath him, his face set and his fists clenched.   
  
Cupid hastily notched Snape’s arrow into his bow. If Snape was only going to give him less than a second, he was going to be ready!   
  
“Snape! I know you’re in there!” Potter hammered fiercely on Snape’s door. “You come out here and face me! How dare you?!”   
  
“How dare I what?” Snape asked from behind Potter. Potter jumped, and spun to face him.   
  
“How dare you leave me alone in the staff room! You  _knew_  we were supposed to be telling everyone about our marriage today!”   
  
Cupid, just about to release his arrow at Snape, faltered, and the arrow fell towards the ground. He gaped at the pair.  _Marriage?!_  How could Snape be married when he’d never succeeded in ever hitting the blasted man with True Love’s Arrow?   
  
“Apologies; a detention was unfortunately delayed,” purred Snape, and Cupid’s jaw fell open even further. Since when was Snape capable of sounding like  _that_? “Perhaps an exhibition tomorrow morning may be more efficient?”   
  
“Don’t think you’re getting out of it that easily,” Potter grumbled, and stepped into the arms that were outstretched and waiting for him. “You’ve got a lot of embarrassment to make up for.”   
  
“I’m sure I can think of some suitable punishment,” Snape assured him, and manoeuvred their way through the door into his quarters.   
  


* * *

  
  
“Well, did you finally succeed?” Aphrodite asked, poking her head into Cupid’s office. She looked startled to find him banging his head against his desk rather vigorously. “What on earth is the matter? Don’t tell me you failed to hit Snape with the TLA  _again_?”   
  
“Oh, no; this is worse,” Cupid said to his desk.   
  
“How could it be worse?” his boss asked, and sat herself on the corner of the desk.   
  
“Snape has apparently managed to fall in love and get married . . . without our help,” said Cupid.   
  
The noise Aphrodite made as she succumbed to an attack of hysterics and fell off the desk brought the entire office to gawp at the scene.   
  
Idly, Cupid wondered just how hard it would be to find a new job. 


End file.
